Last night I saw Black Gypsy, aka Gypsy starring AUDRA and Joy Woods, who was surprisingly magnificent, directed by George C. Wolfe. It was as spectacular as you are currently imagining but it made me think about parents and children and what happens when parents want their children to reach for the stars. This week I also watched The Texas Cheerleader Murder Plot about that infamous 90s Texas mom who hired someone to kill the mother of her daughter’s cheerleading rival. Actually it was really the mom’s cheerleading rival because her daughter absolutely hated cheerleading.
Gypsy and the Texas mom are on different sides of the same coin. Both of them want their children to succeed where they failed and they are willing to push through anything- including those very children’s wishes- to do it. Both moms forced their children to train and practice and perform from the youngest possible age, both ignored their daughter’s wishes for the sake of the dream, and both ended up losing the daughters they were pushing so hard, and both of them mourned the loss of the dream more than the loss of their daughters because they didn’t really love those daughters in the first place.
As awful and abusive as this is, I also understand it. I once watched The Short Game, a documentary about adorable tiny golfers and their overbearing parents. One of the parents was a father who was doing his best to turn his daughter into the next Tiger Woods. He made her wake up early, train all day, compete, and then do it all again. When the director asked him why he was putting his daughter through all of this, he said something I’ll never forget: How do “D” people make an “A” person?
Like so many parents, he wanted better for his daughter than he had achieved for himself but he didn’t know how to do that so he read the accounts of every overbearing father from Tiger’s dad to the Williams sisters’ and was trying to do what they did. And you know what? It worked for those guys.
There is, famously, no parenting manual no matter what the billboard I passed in New Mexico last week says, and for parents who earnestly want their children to achieve at the highest levels, of course they are going to push them from a young age. Every Olympian started competing at age two, every famous actor was in the Mickey Mouse Club, or at least, it seems that way if you pay attention to pop culture. Who hasn’t seen the videos of Baby Gosling performing with what I can only assume are the Goslingettes?
And, of course, in Gypsy, Rose’s daughter ends up becoming the wildly famous and successful Gypsy Rose Lee, who we’re still talking about today. Parenting is complicated and seems terrible which is why I’ll never do it haha but it’s also why I was thrilled to talk to this week’s Choose the Bear guest, Margaret O’Connor, a therapist who helps people decide if they want kids. Therapy should clearly be mandatory for all parents but it should also be mandatory before anyone becomes parents. Maybe then we’ll avoid future Gypsy situations. But, then again, does that mean we’ll also miss out on future Gypsy Rose Lees?
What to do with yourself
Watch
The Texas Cheerleader Murder Plot (Max)- For the above reasons and because not all women who were prosecuted in the 90s were mistreated. Some of them are actually just suuuuuper guilty.
The Traitors Season 3 (Peacock)- Alan Cumming is back!!! And other people too. This show will never cease to crack me up. Believe me when I tell you- you are not as good at reading people as you think. And no, you are not an empath.
The Ballad of Ride the Cyclone (YouTube)- Ever heard of Ride the Cyclone? Me either. It's a super creepy and potentially life affirming Canadian musical about death. Yeah, I’m not surprised it didn’t make it to Broadway either. But this documentary is well made and really shows how hard it is it get a new and innovative show onto the stage. No wonder most of Broadway is revivals.
Listen
ALISON KRAUSS HAS A NEW SONG. I REPEAT ALISON KRAUSS HAS A NEW SONG. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! ALISON AND UNION STATION ARE RELEASING THEIR FIRST ALBUN IN 14 YEARS. LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AGAIN! This group of musical genius has MORE THAN 70 GRAMMYS and is responsible for one of the five greatest albums of all time, Paper Airplane. Listen to Looks Like the End of the Road and then just play Paper Airplane on repeat until the new album, Arcadia, is released on March 28th.
The Unborn (Podcast)- Apparently people are faking babies everywhere. This limited series is the tragic and shocking story of a man who was taken in by a woman who needs therapy more than anyone has ever needed therapy. Ever.
Read
On TikTok, Every Migrant is Living the American Dream- New Yorker
A true crime documentary about how true crime is killing documentaries- Slate