As numerous tiktoks and Instagram memes will tell you, 2022 is already a bust. These first 12 days have been, as one tiktoker put it, “nothing but red flags”. The prevailing sentiment seems to be that since we already know this year is not going to offer us anything of value, we may as well surrender to the chaos. I couldn’t agree more.
Look, the last few years have really just been unapologetically awful. And by last few years I mean since the end of the 90s. This century completely blows. And if the second decade of the century is anything to judge by, we’re lucky climate change will end us all before long. If we had any sense we’d be spraying aerosol cans and breaking up styrofoam with a fervor, just to get it over with.
So since we’re stuck in another terrible, no good, very bad year- this time without stimulus checks- why not take advantage of this time that means absolutely nothing?
Now is the time to do the things you always wanted to do or, conversely, to do absolutely nothing at all. Apparently everyone is quitting their jobs and that seems to be working out just fine (narrator: it is not working out just fine) so give that a try. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to knit, or live in Costa Rica, or join a nudist colony. If not now, when?
Literally nothing matters anymore. We are in a slow apocalypse and we are all going to die. So have fun with it! Make the end of the world a time to explore, experiment, and enjoy. If the zombies come, at least you got the chance to learn how to stand up paddleboard. If they don’t, you’ve picked up a new hobby!
If ever there was a time to throw caution to the wind and live the life you have always wanted, it is now. Seriously. Because we probably don’t have much time left.
Watch:
Yellowjackets (Showtime)- Lord of the Flies but with teenage girls and a 90s soundtrack.
The Righteous Gemstones (HBO Max)- Season 2 just started and you really do not want to miss John Goodman and the fam in one of the funniest shows I have ever seen.
Domina (Epix)- You have probably never heard of Epix. You have definitely never watched anything on it. You are not alone. So, as the only person who has ever watched anything on Epix, trust me when I say you are missing out. Domina is pretty good. War of the Worlds has absolutely nothing to do with H.G. Wells but it is so incredibly dark that I could not stop watching (season 1. season 2 is meh). Plus they have the best documentary I have ever seen on Charles Manson and I have seen them all, and shows I haven’t even gotten into yet with Adrian Brody and Forest Whitaker. Epix is a secret goldmine and if just one of you subscribes I will have doubled their viewership and surely they will reward me with swag and praises.
Listen:
The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill (podcast)- Mars Hill was an absolutely enormous church when I was a kid in Seattle. It was an early model of the “hip church” that modern outposts like Hillsong have taken to new levels. It was also- shocking- led by a real asshole. This podcast is interesting because it’s by a Christian media outlet and is both an exploration of what happened at Mars Hill and what is happening in this era of celebrity pastors. I will admit, I had to stop listening when it got to the insane sexism in the church because I didn’t want to throw things but I do recommend it for those of you with calmer tempers.
Cover Story (podcast)- New York Mag’s podcast about the new world of psychedelic drugs and the predictable sexual abuse that accompanies it. You guys, I’m starting to think that penises are the problem.
Adele’s Old Stuff- Because whether you want to admit it or not, this new album isn’t very good.
Read:
Martha Stewart is still the queen.
My awesome friend J. Kelly Hoey’s marvelous book about networking is celebrating a 5 year anniversary so she put out wild amounts of bonus content! Read! Share! Buy the book!
We should really be paying more attention to Russia.
Give:
A friend is raising funds for Farming Hope. I don’t know if they’re hoping for farms or if they have found a way to actually farm hope, and I’m not going to google it because it’s more fun to speculate, but either way make a donation HERE.