Well, we did it. We made it to another Halloween. If you, like me, spend every Halloween like you spend most nights- on your couch, watching TV, this is the post for you.
So what to watch? If you’re a true citizen of the Flanaverse then you have already gloried in the masterpiece that is The Fall of the House of Usher, followed by a rewatch of The Haunting of Hill House, Bly Manor, Midnight Mass for the truly dedicated, and a ritual ignoring of The Midnight Club. If you have done none of those things, go to Netflix, turn on Fall immediately and thank the universe that you are alive for the Golden Age of Mike Flanagan.
For the rest of us, there are options. I love an American Werewolf in Paris/Blacula double feature. AWIP was a marvel of special effects in its time but it still has a few scares up its sleeve. And Blacula is just fun. Want to be truly frightened? Follow The Shining with The Exorcist and sleep on your couch with all of the lights on for the next week. Looking for something new and truly terrifying? Watch Barbarian on Hulu and, for the love of God, do not ping me about it. I survived it once, I don’t know if I will again. You can also try 30 Coins on HBO which is so wild that I repeated texted friends “oh shit oh shit oh shit” with no context.
If you’re looking for a fun Halloweeny binge without the scares, Mayfair Witches and the new Interview With a Vampire, both on AMC+ and both EP’d by Her Majesty Queen Anne Rice of New Orleans are really fantastic. Or rewatch the new Sabrina on Netflix, which is dark but fun without being particularly gory or scary. Red Rose on Netflix is creative and really interesting, you think you know where it’s going in the beginning and I promise you, you do not.
Do not watch Haunting of the Queen Mary. Trust me.
For a frightening read, try The Shining, without a doubt the most terrifying piece of content I have ever consumed in my life or read the new biography by Our Lord and Savior Britney Spears, which I preordered because it’s the law but honestly do not have the guts to read yet.
And if all of this is too much for you, listen to the Ruined podcast, in which a friend who loves horror movies explains the plots to a friend who very much does not and then settle in for a cozy viewing of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
Whatever you do, remember that candy calories do not count on Halloween and besides, pie season is right around the corner so you may as well just buy the pants with the elastic waistband and settle in for a good long season of TV goodies.
Kat