Spring isn't Springing

#floodwatch

This weekend Los Angeles had a sunny day. Normally, this is not news. In 2023, it was literally all anyone could talk about. And thank goodness for that glorious 32 hours, because we’re back on flood watch.

My news alerts today screamed something about CLIMATE ANXIETY to me and I was like yeah, I get it, we’re all going to die and it won’t even be something cool like zombies or the Cordyceps Apocalypse (iykyk) but just Noah’s flood without the ark. As all of the memes are saying: I’m not paying Los Angeles prices for this.

What I am paying for is cinnamon sticks. A lot of them. I can’t remember if I wrote about this before but it is so life changing that I am going to tell you again. A few months ago I went to a wonderful restaurant called Woodspoon. It was raining. Pouring. Because it’s LA in 2023. Luckily they had more than one seafood stew option and even though this place is Michelin and Beard it was remarkably, unreasonably affordable. AND. They put cinnamon sticks in their water.

CINNAMON STICKS IN THE WATER.

It was a revelation. Water has never watered like this before. My mind blow, the next day I went straight to WF, balked at the price of cinnamon sticks, and bought some anyways. I drink several Nalgenes of water a day (humble brag) and never have they tasted this good before. It’s like water with fairy dust in it. THEN, I leveled up, as I do, and I added lemons and ACV (that’s apple cider vinegar for the non health nuts in the chat) and HOLY WOW. My water game is unbelievable. My insides are sparkling. I cannot recommend this enough. Start with the cinnamon sticks. Let them change your life. Then if you feel like turning your water into whole body disinfectant, add the lemons and ACV. You can thank me later.

Watch:

65 (theatres)- A movie podcaster asked if Adam Driver has kids in private school and, honestly, that or a very large secret gambling debt is the only explanation for why he made this movie. I am still hoping that Halle Berry’s children were let out of the trunk of whatever car they were held in until she wrapped Moonfall. Unlike Moonfall, however, 65 is not the worst movie ever made. Not even close. It’s a solid 60%. It is, however, TERRIFYING. I wondered why all of the trailers were for horror movies AND NOW I KNOW. These are not Spielberg’s dinosaurs. These dinosaurs are coming for your children. And then they will eat them. Rudely. I have never been so stressed. But also, not a bad time at the movies if you’ve already seen Cocaine Bear.

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)- He’s back, he’s heartwarming, he has a nemesis??? Lasso is getting a little dark and I don’t know how I feel about it but I also don’t have a choice.

Agent Elvis (Netflix)- If you ever watched Archer and thought I love this, but what if… Elvis? then this is the show for you. Be warned, this is not your mama’s Elvis, but Priscilla plays herself so it’s Presley approved. As a die hard Archer fan I absolutely love it but I also do not have a problem with F bombs and coke snorting monkeys. If you do… stay clear. But if you, like me, both fantasize about being Lana Kane and have been to Graceland, this venn diagram was made for you.

Listen:

Deadly Cure and Mystic Mother (podcasts)- An argument could be made that the First Amendment has caused more trouble than it’s worth. After listening to these two podcasts, you might just take up the cause.

Hozier- Eat Your Young (music)- Hozier is a dream and his new singles have me very excited for his upcoming album. Enjoy the preview.

Read:

It’s tax season which means single women are about to get screwed again.

Even though 52% of women are single and doing literally all the jobs.

But we’re also happier so I guess it evens out in the end.