The death of Tucker Carlson...'s show

A tribute

I was listening to a podcast about the Canadian bitcoin conman who made off with billions in crypto and may or may not have died in India. SPOILER: He definitely died but I can understand why people thought he was faking it. In an episode describing his obscene wealth and the idiotic purchases that only con artists seem to make, they said that he bought a private island… FROM TUCKER CARLSON. And I thought “Man, that dude is everywhere”. Except, apparently, on Fox News from now on.

Tucker has been the kind of pop culture phenomenon that we rarely experience. I have often thought of him as the McCarthy of 24 hour news. He didn’t need a Congressional committee to falsely accuse innocent people, spread hatred and rage, and incite violence across the country, he just needed two cameras and a microphone. Like McCarthy, this overgrown manchild conned gullible white Americans into believing that all of their problems were someone else’s fault, someone not like them. The difference, of course, is that McCarthy really believed it. The only thing Tucker believed in was cash. And cash in he did, at the expense of truth, democracy, a peaceful, united, America.

Tucker’s show was the most watched by far in the country, every night, millions tuned in and absorbed his vitriol. Personally, I couldn’t do it. But I understand why people watched him. In a country where no one is safe, stable, or secure, it must be so nice to believe that your failures are the fault of some unfamiliar enemy, and not because the dream you have always believed in was a lie all along. And that’s why, as we celebrate the death of Tucker Carlson, we have to recognize that this is not the end. It is not the end of him, and it is not the end of his kind of TV show. It can’t be, it’s too profitable.

So where do we go from here? I have some predictions. With every new story of Ron DeSantis eating pudding with his fingers and losing to Bob “fuck around and find out” Iger, a future President DeSantis is looking less and less likely. Enter: President Carlson. If you don’t think that’s possible, you haven’t been paying attention. I would be shocked if Tucker didn’t end up in Congress soon, and if he wanted to take it further he absolutely could. Of course, he could always go to the Alex Jones route and start his own Blaze but he is too conventionally good looking and upper crust for that.

And on Fox? They made billions on Tucker. BILLIONS. They are not going to suddenly air some moderate conservative soft peddled talk show. Oh no. They are going to find someone even more angry, dishonest, and divisive than Tucker. They have to. Their viewers are already mad at them and OAN is knocking at the door. If we learned anything from the Dominion case (and we learned so, so much), it’s that the second Fox tries to be honest or anything less than full on unhinged inflammatory madness, their audience turns on them. They are the prisoners of the monster they created.

There may well come a day when we remember the days of Tucker Carlson fondly. Today, however, is not that day.

Watch:

We Are Lady Parts (Peacock)- Stop what you’re doing and watch this adorable show about a punk band made up of muslim teenage girls in London. It’s perfect.

How to Get Rich (Netflix)- No matter how you are with money, this show will make you feel better about yourself. Get your weekly dose of judging here.

Indian Matchmaking Season 3 (Netflix)- This show is unhinged and slightly terrible but I can’t stop watching and yelling at the screen GIRL, JUST BE SINGLE.

TikToks of the Week:

The robots are here and they are less adorable than I had hoped.

Move over Kenneth Branagh, this is my Hamlet now.

This will only be funny to Star Wars fans.

A fourth one because it’s too funny not to.

Read:

The Silkworm by Robert Gilbraith- My book club just finished the second Cormoran Strike mystery and it’s just as fun as the first one.

If you’re a photographer, this 2023 State of the Industry report by Format might be of interest.

I have been learning a lot about adoption lately and this New Yorker article was really illuminating.