The Happiness Check In
I'm a biker chick now!
Have you ever looked around and wondered if the people around you are happy? Or if you’re happy? Or if anyone is? Lately I’ve been looking and realizing that nobody seems to actually just be happy. And I don’t mean “blissfully unaware that the world is on fire” but more “generally satisfied and enjoying life while also recognizing that the world is imperfect and wanting that to change”.
I mean, look, I get it. 40% of Americans can’t afford $400 in an emergency (and that study was before COVID). You’re as likely to get shot going to the mall as going to war. The nightly news is a partisan hellscape. We still don’t have flying cars. Life isn’t great. But I don’t think those things are why Americans aren’t happy. After all, there are plenty of wildly healthy and attractive rich people out here being white on yachts and they don’t seem to be that happy either. In fact, I know they’re not- I listen to podcasts that tell me so. And there are plenty of countries where people are living with far, far less than all but the most downtrodden Americans will ever have who aren’t nearly as miserable as the average college-educated middle class American.
So, what is it? Do we have too much? I do sometimes look at the endless cereal aisle at the grocery store and think “this is why people hate us”. And every Amazon Day I marvel at the incredible amounts of useless crap that someone is peeing into a bottle to deliver to us at breakneck speed for $1 off and think “good thing this is paying for a rich loser to take a penis-shaped rocket into space”.
Social media has most certainly contributed to the present crisis of happiness that I believe we are in. My personal happiness index has grown by leaps and bounds since I left Twitter over a year ago, and I would keep my current Instagram hiatus going forever if having some sort of social media presence when you’re not famous wasn’t unfortunately required for getting book deals. Living for likes and reading the comments isn’t going to help anyone’s well being.
I have also learned from tik tok that apparently most people hate their jobs, which is sad. I love working, always have, but I have definitely had gigs I hated and couldn’t wait to quit. No one should live that way, but apparently far more people are than seems necessary. Most of these problems could be easily solved. Managers could be more human. Employees could be less shitty (don’t @ me, I know everyone thinks bosses are the bad guys but go talk to any black woman you know who is in charge of literally anything and you’ll find out what life looks like on the other side). Company policies could be set up for people and not robots. All of these changes could actually be made pretty easily but apparently won’t be. Well, I guess we can’t change human nature pretty easily but the policies could change.
I also don’t think people have hobbies anymore. I have too many hobbies, which I imagine at some point will start to have diminishing returns. But hobbies are great! They’re fun, they let you do something you’re passionate about, build new friend groups and community, and think about something other than that job you hate. Maybe people need more hobbies? If you’re looking for a hobby, ping me, I have suggestions.
Some people also have kids and a husband which seems like an immediate way to ensure that you will never be happy again.
What are your thoughts on happiness? (This is as good a place as any to plug my friend Rob’s book about happiness because apparently he’s got it all figured out).
Do you check in with yourself to make sure you’re happy? I like to make a list of the things that spark joy (thanks Marie!) and the things that don’t, and then work on getting rid of or changing the things that don’t or at least doing more of the things that do. I also sometimes like to do a rapid fire test- I’ll grab a piece of paper and quickly write down the top 3 things that make me happy without thinking about it. The results may surprise you. I do this with my priorities too. It’s enlightening.
Anyways, unlike Rob, I’m no expert. I just keep seeing over and over that people are not happy and I really hope that if you’re reading this you find a way to spark some joy in your life. I recommend the Olympics, travel, and large amounts of delicious food.
IN OTHER NEWS I HAVE A MOTORCYCLE LICENSE NOW SO WATCH THE ROAD!
Watch:
The Olympics. Particularly synchronized swimming (the IOC decided to call it artistic swimming and, as usual, the IOC is wrong). Synchronized swimmers are the greatest athletes in the world. Whatever your favorite athlete can do, she cannot do it while holding her breath underwater. Case closed. Also watch diving, canoe slalom, skateboarding, archery, and rock climbing wall which has a different name but is just a really really high rock climbing wall so that’s what I’m calling it. And then watch everything else. America is winning which is the most important thing but also a lot of small countries have had really big exciting wins or first time wins which is the second most important thing. So everything is going along swimmingly. Especially synchronized swimming, which is the best.
OH! And trampoline! Ok, so, first of all, I APOLOGIZE TO ALL TRAMPOLINERS WHO I ASSUME ARE CALLED TRAMPS. I was one of those unknowing fools who laughed heartily when I heard that trampoline was going to be an Olympic sport. I guffawed, I admit it. TRAMP? I said. Please. That’s not a sport. Oh, to be so wrong. So full of hubris. So, so ignorant of the glories of the tramping world.
You guys, this sport… it’s the closest you will ever get to seeing someone die at the Olympics. THE TENSION! The fear! The horror of watching a tramp jump I assume 100 feet in the air only to MISS THE TRAMPOLINE ON THE WAY DOWN! Or get his legs stuck in the tramp (yes! this happened!). Or to slip and perform perhaps the best flailing legs gag of all time! Also a thing that happened! I have never been so stressed watching an Olympic sport. It’s glorious. Watch every second of it immediately.
Listen:
No Place Like Home (podcast)- (h/t to whoever recommend this to me, I cannot remember but way to go). DOROTHY’S RUBY SLIPPERS GO MISSING FROM JUDY GARLAND’S HOMETOWN. MUCH DRAMA ENSUES.
This is Uncomfortable (podcast)- This is a pretty interesting pod about money, how people deal with money, the drama that surrounds money, and just the wild world of everyone’s personal finances.
Read:
Is all art a scam? Maybe not, but this is. And I love it.
This article but mostly as a reminder that you need to watch the first 3 seasons of Fargo (I’m sorry Chris Rock but season 4 was a hot mess)