The Weekend Edition
Taking a pool break on my road trip
Greetings from Scottsdale. Since the last time we spoke I drove to Arizona, saw my amazing grandmother for the first time since the Patricia, and then headed out on a hiking/road trip vacay. I am currently in a hotel room trying to escape the 100 degree heat. After hiking yesterday I thought I’d just sit by the pool today. Which I did, and I observed a slice of Memorial Day weekend life.
A trio of bikini-clad influencers spent two hours walking around the pool area taking photos of themselves looking like they were having fun. Lots of high knees and heads bent back in fake laughter. This morning I saw them dressed in very tight dresses posing provocatively in front of plants that certainly did not consent to being involved in their shenanigans. I do admire their dedication though. While I sat in a chair drinking margaritas and eating chicken fingers and french fries (I swear I meant to order a salad) and reading Scientific American in a cover up that would make the Amish proud these girls were WORKING for those likes. After their photo shoots they left, presumably for a wardrobe change and a photoshoot about town. If I knew their names I would follow, like, and buy a sponsored product.
In another corner we had a 40th birthday party for a woman with half pink hair and her living, laughing, and loving friends. Considering how close I am to 40, it was nice to see a bunch of ladies living their best lives, and disappointing when a few old men showed up, which most certainly will not be a problem at my 40th. It was also weird because these women looked 40 but my friends and I are in our late 30s and we still look 12 so does something drastic happen at 39? And can I make it happen sooner? I feel like if I looked in the mirror and saw an adult I might have fewer expectations for myself. Like oh look at you, you’re done, no point in trying anymore.
I saw a commercial the other day that said that AT 40 MOST PEOPLE STILL HAVE OVER HALF THEIR LIVES TO LIVE and I did not handle that well. Do I really have like 50 more years to live??? That’s tew much. That’s so much time! What am I supposed to do with all of that time? Pay taxes??? Unacceptable. I mean, hopefully the apocalypse has come and gone a few times by then, but if not, I just don’t know how many more careers I have left in me. And does Netflix have the stamina for 50 more years? We need to have a conference.
In other news, every third video on TikTok is about how much people hate their jobs (every second video is about how great the childless life is to which I say YES) and a) Whys it got to be so hard? Why can’t people be cool? Why can’t jobs pay well? What’s up with that? The thing I work harder at than almost anything is making sure my staff are happy (at work, I can’t do anything about breakups and bad in-laws), fulfilled, and fairly compensated. It’s not always easy but we’ve all had bad jobs before, who wants to turn around and be the cause of someone else’s bad job??? I don’t understand it except that all humans are terrible so never mind I guess I do understand.
Are Republicans… ok? Because the ones on TikTok are definitely not. Someone should check on them.
Watch:
HGTV- When I’m in a hotel, I’m watching HGTV. I don’t know why. But now that my hotel life has resumed it’s so nice getting back to judging people’s terrible decisions, mocking anyone who says they love open concept, and placing bets on when the couples on House Hunters will get divorced.
Rear Window- Because some people thought they could REMAKE THE MOST PERFECT MOVIE EVER MADE and they were wrong and are rightly suffering the consequences.
A Black Lady Sketch Show (HBO)- IT’S BAAAAACCCKKKKKK
Listen:
By The Book (podcast)- I love a self help book. I am on a constant quest of self improvement and I will ready any book, take any supplement, try anything to see if it makes me better (thinner). The co-hosts of this podcast… could not be my friends, but they read every self help book they can find and try everything in it for 2 weeks and it’s even better than having to do it yourself. It’s a great way to pick up some life hacks on a road trip or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Scam Goddess (podcast)- HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT SCAM GODDESS??? I love a grifter and this podcast is full of them.
Brain Trust Live 400 (podcast)- BTL’s 400th episode just came out and WOW. I cannot imagine committing to anything for this long. Way to go Lila and Brent.
Read:
Apparently we have a coroner problem in this country.
A magazine- seriously. Magazines are great. My favs are about photography, fitness, fashion, and science. Yes, that is basically all of the magazines. Pick up a few, read them by the beach or the pool or wherever you’re relaxing this summer, and remember how great mags are.
How are the Sacklers not in jail yet? (Don’t answer that, I already know.)