I’m not a big follower of celebrities, I usually don’t get the hype and would rather not know about their sordid personal lives so I can enjoy their meaningless entertainment without guilt. BUT- I looooove a bad review (I am in heaven whenever Dwayne Johnson has a new movie out) and I think some of the best writing comes in the form of celebrity profiles. Three in particular are, for me, the best that were ever done:
Frank Sinatra has a Cold- I am by no means the only person to reference this profile as one of the best pieces of writing in the modern age. FSHAC is widely hailed as an absolute classic and probably always will be. Gay Talese’s report on the icon’s sniffles is a must read, even if you, somehow, are not a fan of Frank.
Sinatra was ill. He was the victim of an ailment so common that most people would consider it trivial. But when it gets to Sinatra, it can plunge him into a state of anguish, deep depression, panic, even rage. Frank Sinatra has a cold.
Alex Haley Interviews George Lincoln Rockwell- Far too few people know that Hugh Hefner was a huge supporter of the Civil Rights Movement. He helped MLK make payroll when he was short, held fundraisers for black organizations at the Playboy mansion, gave Dick Gregory his big break, repeatedly hired Alex Haley to help him afford to write Roots, and, in an absolutely epic moment, took on the American Nazis in the pettiest and most hilarious way possible. You see, George Lincoln Rockwell, founder of the American Nazi Party, really really wanted to be interviewed by Playboy. So Hef was like, sure dude, you got it. And he sent Alex Haley, without anyone, including and especially Alex, telling the Nazi that the Playboy reporter he was finally going to speak to was Black. Rockwell was shocked, angry, and had no choice. He pulled out a pistol, put it on his desk, and proceeded to do the interview. Alex Haley wrote a masterful profile, and, fortunately for all of us, Rockwell died the next year.
Rockwell: Good. Just so we both know where we stand, I’d like to make something else crystal clear before we begin. I’m going to be honest and direct with you. You’re here in your professional capacity; I’m here in my professional capacity. While here, you’ll be treated well—but I see you’re a black interviewer. It’s nothing personal, but I want you to understand that I don’t mix with your kind, and we call your race “niggers.”
Haley: I’ve been called “nigger” many times, Commander, but this is the first time I’m being paid for it. So you go right ahead.
The Trouble with Johnny Depp- You know an article is all you ever hoped and dreamt of when the reporter- in this case, Stephen Rodrick- has to climb over a fence to get out at the end. Johnny Depp is a mad man, but a mad man who really desperately needs a hug. After this profile you won’t know whether to laugh or cry, but you’ll probably do both.
For the next 15 minutes, Depp tries to figure out how to open the gates to his mansion fortress. He clicks buttons and pushes the fence, but nothing budges. He is a lost boy who won’t find his way home before dark. I finally tell him I can shimmy over the fence. I clamber over and jump down. Through the bars we say good night.
“Take care, man,” he says. He goes silent for a moment. “Thank you for listening.”
He then turns around and walks back into his gilded prison and pushes open the heavy door. After a moment, it slams shut behind him.
These are my top three. Did I miss any?
This week, I am joined by Barron’s journalist Megan Leonhardt to talk about how single women are taking over America and how very much it’s costing us. Also, don’t forget to check out my tiny Friday news bites!
What to Do with Yourself
Watch
Scamanda (Hulu)- This show came out today so I haven’t watched it yet but I recommended the podcast ages ago and if you listened, you know you want to tune in.
Bad Monkey (Apple TV)- Vince Vaughan is a cop who can’t shut up and can’t let things go. This is about as fun as you’d expect.
The Penguin (Max)- The Penguin in Gotham but as a mafia show. THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD! And you will absolutely not recognize Colin Farrell.
Listen
Who Killed JFK? (podcast)- Soooo… I think we know who killed JFK now and, yeah, it’s really freaking me out.
The Overpopulation Podcast- Co-Host Nandita Bajaj is a future Choose the Bear guest but you should definitely tune in to this incredibly informative podcast ASAP.
Taylor Swift MegaMix- If you’re a Swiftie, this mix will be on constant repeat until the end of time.